misérable.


that's the end of innocence.

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In his coclusions, [Anthony] Bogaert emphasizes that although asexual people can have fantasies, these seem to be disassociated from sexual activity. This means that despite the fantasies, asexual people don’t put themselves in the scenario created by their own fantasy. For example, they do not imagine themselves as participants of the pornography scene they are watching, or of the erotic literature they are reading, other than as mere spectators or observers. They aren’t atracted for anything or anyone, but their bodies - or some aspects of their minds related to sexual arousal - may still need sexual stimulation for them to masturbate. This disconnection between identity, masturbation and sexual fantasies is intriguing to science and needs to be studied.
— rough translation of Elisabete Oliveira’s observations on Anthony Bogaert’s book, Understanding Asexuality, 2012, at her blog, Assexualidades.
These days, before we talk about misogyny, women are increasingly being asked to modify our language so we don’t hurt men’s feelings. Don’t say, “Men oppress women” – that’s sexism, as bad as any sexism women ever have to handle, possibly worse. Instead, say, “Some men oppress women.” Whatever you do, don’t generalise. That’s something men do. Not all men – just some men.

This type of semantic squabbling is a very effective way of getting women to shut up. After all, most of us grew up learning that being a good girl was all about putting other people’s feelings ahead of our own. We aren’t supposed to say what we think if there’s a chance it might upset somebody else or, worse, make them angry. So we stifle our speech with apologies, caveats and soothing sounds. We reassure our friends and loved ones that “you’re not one of those men who hate women”.

What we don’t say is: of course not all men hate women. But culture hates women, so men who grow up in a sexist culture have a tendency to do and say sexist things, often without meaning to. We aren’t judging you for who you are but that doesn’t mean we’re not asking you to change your behaviour. What you feel about women in your heart is of less immediate importance than how you treat them on a daily basis.

You can be the gentlest, sweetest man in the world yet still benefit from sexism. That’s how oppression works.
eu vivo pelos cantos feito bicho:
eu tô um lixo.
— rita lee